Almost everybody I know would like to be rich. For some, dreams of more luxuries are just reduced to daytime fantasies. Some people are more ruthless than others. But who wouldn’t like to be surrounded by the comforts of life anyway?
I have witnessed cases where people inherited a fortune only to squander it off all within half a lifetime, in the end having to suffer worse toils towards the later part of their life.
My mom comes from a farmer’s family in Taoyuan, Taiwan. Her parents, my grandparents were honest perspiring workers during the early days. There were 7 children – 6 boys and 1 girl (my mother, the youngest). To make a living meant hard work, nevertheless my grandparents managed to upkeep their large family sufficiently. Out of the 7 children, the first 3 had to help out the family by working in the fields; the remaining 4 children were given a choice to be educated or to join the family workforce.
My mom grew up in a modest environment, having no shoes till she was nearly an adult. She was not allowed to join her school trips in order to continue her studies onto a higher level and was therefore deprived of most childhood joys our generation knows so well. Being the youngest and only daughter, she was either expected to be married off or help out in the farm. And because she was a daughter, privileges are often not directed her way. To her, it seemed that studies and education was her only way out of such a hard life in the farm. After her high school, my mom went on to nursing school in order to gain a respectable living for herself. It was thankful that my grandparents allowed her that choice, something almost unheard of for Chinese daughters.
I love my family, but not all of them – I used to. Now, I am only close to the family of the younger uncles because of age and mental wavelength. Besides the fact that they are all city people, they are also warm, caring and genuine relatives. They all lead very successful family lives and their children my cousins have all grown up to become professionals in their fields.
I will tell about what happened to the rest of the family and what my reasons are for disregarding the older half of my mother’s family.
My grandparents lived in Taoyuan, 15 minutes from the Chiang Kai Shek International Airport. When my grandparents were still alive, we used to visit them, where they lived in a succession of 4 shop houses they built after they quit farming. The houses were shared among family of the eldest and third uncle. There was a large household of people there but towards the later years, things began to become less rosy. Whenever I visited them, I have observed disrespect among my elders and it was very heart wrenching to see such ugly disloyalty among my mother’s family.
It all began more than 15 years ago when Taiwan wanted to build their new international airport in Taoyuan. As my granddad’s farm land was situated within the selected site, the Taiwanese government bought it from him at a very desirable price and my granddad became an instant millionaire/billionaire. My granddad’s farm was turned into part of the airport runway of Chiang Kai Shek International Airport. It was almost like a case of striking the jackpot. Many farmer’s family made their money then.
Being the conservative and careful farmer, my granddad used the money and bought more land that was later resold to the government for further expansion to the airport terminals. Fairly and squarely, he divided part of his new fortune among those who had worked on the farm; namely himself, his eldest son and his 3rd son resulting in the families becoming the instant breed of new rich too. There used to be 3 uncles who worked with granddad but my 2nd uncle apparently left home and never came back. I never met him or his family.
As a result of the fresh new money, my 2 uncles who were already grandfathers, had their own set of family problems when everyone started getting greedy. The seedlings of trouble only bore bad fruit in the recent years after the death of my third uncle, my granddad and my grandma. With all the old ones gone, all hell broke loose.
Within a short time, all forms of vulgarity were displayed. Respect for the elders almost vanished overnight. Gone were the hardworking values and they only knew how to be rude to each other, constantly displaying their selfish side and narrow view towards genteel kindness..
Coming from that family, the person who perhaps suffered most was my grandma. Soon, the disrespect shown to her got very blatant. It used to break my heart to see how ill treated she was because of her dependency. Her relationship with granddad became dysfunctional eversince she started harping on about him having girlfriends – it was all a confusion of love, loyalty & hate. I used to be incensed that my grandma was so deprived of the luxury her sons’ families enjoyed, they could not be asked to have to worry about her welfare. She shared a room with my grandfather in a shabby ground floor room. Eversince the family upgraded, grandma just wanted to die. She never wanted to travel in fear that she dies outside of her own home. She wanted to stay there despite being asked to join her filial sons and daughter in the city who could have offered her more comfort and happiness. I can understand that she was used to the modest living and would much prefer not to have to learn new surroundings but I don’t understand how her children can sleep in comfort knowing that they could make things easier by just showing care. What was worse, she must have been very heart broken to see the family breaking apart over the money.
My granddad was the quiet disciplined contemplator. I really respected him a lot because he remained frugal even after his financial upgrade. He was eccentric as well as just. Things were in order when he was healthy. His greatest disappointment was perhaps the betrayal of his first son just during his last years. In my view, his greatest mistake was that he did not give any rights to his wife. That could have been the breaking factor to the fall of the Chuang family.
It was too bad.
My granddad had intended to split his third of the family fortunes among his 4 younger children. He left the legal administration to my eldest uncle, who, also an illiterate, but was more adept towards these law matters. Unimaginably, my uncle ignored his father’s last wishes and transfered everything to his own name. If my granddad didn’t know about it, it was just as well he was spared of that last disappointment and betrayal. The rest of us discovered the real face of my evil uncle only after granddad’s funeral. I wonder what granddad did in his earlier life to deserve this. Was he such a selfish man that his son is doing the same to him?
Anyway, my third uncle had a very bad wife. She did not treat my grandparents well, especially my grandma. Her grandchildren were the worst. I recalled wanting to teach my 5-year-old niece a lesson who rebuked my grandma for touching her school things. I held back because I felt I was just a visitor.
Whenever we visited, there was a silent hostility towards us. Behind the backs of the younger families, they would always try and cause a wedge of misunderstanding among us. It was very unpleasant. I was still very young then so I didn’t know much. In fact, I didn’t know about many things until not too long ago. When I grew up, I have learnt not to care about them. Now that my grandparents have both passed on, I can finally heave a sigh of relief that I don’t have to be associated with such useless imbeciles.
Only 15 years after having become nouveau rich, the third uncle’s families have squandered away everything and everybody is knee deep in debt. Third auntie now has to work in a farm for her salary and she rents a room for board. Her vulgar extravaganzas after the death of her husband has disappeared as fleetingly as her dishonest lovers. Everything else including their houses and properties had been gambled away. As soon as my third uncle died, their household was flocked with a constant flow of free loaders that made third auntie very foolishly popular among her low life false friends.
I always believed that life will teach lessons but I never expected it to happen so fast. Third auntie’s favorite daughter-in-law ill treats her the way she did my grandma. After all this, the poor old woman lives on her own. All her children do not have sufficient earning jobs and her young grandchildren are slowly dropping out of school. What’s remaining from their past fortune was their bad habits of gambling, debts and a mouthful of distasteful culture.
There is less drama in my first uncle’s household.
My first uncle’s 2 sons are now both divorced. Both alcoholics (one a molester) and inadequate fathers. Due to the lack of their mothers’ presence, the young adults grandchildren have all dropped out of school and is fast at becoming village nuisances. One, if I am not mistaken is already a gangster. Some of these kids were very good when I knew them. It is unfortunate that they are not and will not be getting the guidance they need during these forming years.
To me, all this seems like a fictional story to me. A remote piece of news that I just heard from my mother’s old schoolmate. I play no part in being one of them and have no desire to ever see them up or down, good or bad. Nisi Dominus Frustra – IN GOD WE TRUST! I cannot laugh or cry for what had happened to my mother’s family, I can only learn with wide-eyed fear of the greatness of karma.
So why do I disagree with lotteries?
Lotteries are undeserved wealth. As statistics show, the demographics of people who indulges in lotteries and gambling are mainly from the lower income group. A great number of the lower income groups are less educated. Ineducated lucky strikes do not last long if there is no wisdom. Basically, if lucky strikers do not know to upgrade their knowledge, chances are, they would not know how to manage their newfound wealth. At the end of the day, the new found wealth acts as nothing more than a curse to their lives. They will lead a hard life after everything has been squandered away.
It is good to learn some patience in life. Many people I know cannot wait to make it rich. Sometimes I wonder if they know what they are asking for? Would they know how to handle it? Will their personality change because of the change in environment and circumstances? Will their priorities still be priceless?
I believe in the sayiing ‘easy come easy go’, or ‘how it comes is how it goes’. The money you inherit from winning a jackpot will likely be lost to vulgar luxuries or more gambling. The money you earn through bloody perspiration will likely be greatly and properly appreciated. When things are not meant to be, we needn’t push it because we are probably not thoroughly prepared for bigger responsibilities. Bigger and better things comes with responsibilities. When I say responsibilities, I mean it in all sense, including ethics and moral values. If one is not ready for good fortune, a thousand and one bad things can happen to the world one is in.
Why is it important to be on a constant curve of upgrade? I think to prepare ourselves for bigger and better things.
Again, “wise men learn from their mistakes, wiser men learn from other people’s.”
I have traces of my childhood memory of the farm house where everybody lived under the same modest roof. My family was then big, happy and simple. My grandma and other enterprising farm ladies sewed umbrellas for the industrial manufacturers. She made me a beautiful little umbrella once when I visited her 22 years ago. We went out to the village pond and picked shellfish to be boiled into soup. Every evening, grandma, mom and I would walk to the nearby paddy fields to fetch my granddad and uncles after they had wrapped up their day’s work. There was a home with a warm dinner waiting. We had a large yard full of vegetables and fruit trees for our family’s own consumption. Life was very rich then. There were fowls and fresh eggs to eat. The only dispute I remembered from that past was one between myself and the family goose who beeped at me. That was the only thing that made me cry.
When I became an adult, I could only weep silently out of pure grief of my generation’s discredit.
My world did not crumble although at one point I thought it had. In fact, this played a part in making me a stronger person, more adamant than ever about living a quality life, if I can so help it. Never would I want to forsake my principles and important relationships over vulgar priorities such as ruthless ambitions. May God always remind me.